Good morning, Ithaca! And welcome to your first Heroes & Villains of 2010! All in all, it’s been quite the decade thus far, except for that VILLAINOUS economy we keep hearing about. The VILLAINOUS recession struck again — not once, not twice, but thrice already this semester. First was last week’s news of VILLAINOUS tuition increases, still rising at a higher cost than inflation. We were cheered up a little when President Barack Obama promised us some HEROIC tax credits to replace those VILLAINOUS loans, but until those handouts start flowing and we can resume our fine dining ways, we’re stuck waiting in VILLAINOUSLY long lines at the North Campus dining halls, where the hours have been VILLAINOUSLY cut once again. Luckily, HEROIC Robert Purcell Market Place Eatery is there to pick up the slack — everyone likes the Mongo Bar better anyway, right?

The VILLAINOUS Student Assembly certainly seems to have eaten their fill of mystery meat — they spent the week VILLAINOUSLY deliberating largely irrelevant issues while standing by as the HEROIC Theatre, Film and Dance Department struggled as the latest victims of the VILLAINOUS budget deficit. With what appear to be crippling cuts to the department’s budget, enjoy HEROIC Schwartz Center while it’s still open. We can only hope that HEROIC alumni donations — Cornell is one of the only universities to enjoy an increase in fundraising over the past year — swoop to the rescue and keep those dancers dancing.

Over at Newman Arena, the HEROIC basketball team blew out VILLAINOUS Harvard (over-rated, clap clap, clap clap clap) to HEROICALLY ball their way into the ESPN/USA Today Top 25. Enjoy it while it lasts, boys — you can bet we will.

Despite the problems we’re facing here on the Hill, one of the most encouraging events of the young decade is the way the HEROIC Cornell community has HEROICALLY responded to the tragedy in Haiti — we’ve had a variety of vigils, bountiful benefit concerts and a seemingly limitless number of lectures on the aftermath of the tragedy, but we can always do more. Keep the aid coming, people. You’re all HEROES in our book.